first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Randomize
