So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Randomize
