i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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