dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
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