Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Randomize