Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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