She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
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