i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
