last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
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