Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
my liver is dry heaving
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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