I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
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