I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
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