i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
tequila makes me forget i have legs
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
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