i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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