i was born a porn star she said
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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