Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
