Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Randomize
