i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Randomize
