420 ftw
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
And then my night got REAL pukey
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
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