my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
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