ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
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i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
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