There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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