The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
