Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Randomize
