Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
