Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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