my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
