I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
