Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
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