My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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