i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
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