My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
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