think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
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