and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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