I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize