Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
the night ended with taco bell and tears
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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