If that was your dad, he is hot
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
You need Xanax blowdarts
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Randomize
