Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
