i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
