Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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