I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
