Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize
