the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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