He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
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