ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
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he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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