That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
