I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Randomize
