sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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