She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Randomize
