why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
