Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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