He told me they were just razor bumps!
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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