If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Randomize
