so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Need sex. Gaining weight.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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