just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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