Sponge bath it is.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
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I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
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I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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