help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
I think I won the penis lottery.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
BRING THE BAGELS
Randomize
