their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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