i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
