just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Did I show you my penis last night?
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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