i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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