She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
