and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Randomize
