You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
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