Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
operation have a gay friend backfired
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Randomize
