the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
